Scanxiety

Yes this is a real thing! An anxiety caused by scans and waiting for scan results. I had my scans on Wednesday afternoon and my Oncologist appointment on Thursday morning.

I haven’t written for a couple of weeks I think mainly due to my scans last week and waiting the results.

Not good news but not bad news, mostly everything is just status quo. Nothing is getting smaller but nothing is getting bigger. We have decided to take on 1 to 2 more months of chemo (4 more cycles) and see where we’re at then.

I found out last minute I have a blood clot in my leg and so I have to inject myself everyday for 3/6 months. I’m not sure if this is something that will ever become ‘normal’. Before I found out I had cancer I would pass out just at having going to get blood tests for my iron levels and now I’m injecting myself!

Its amazing how far a person can come in such a short time.

Although we are doing more chemo this doesn’t add years to the life span they have given me it hopefully just prolongs the quality. We also have to make sure the body doesn’t become resistant to the chemo and balance the chemo and fatigue levels to see if its still worth it after a couple more cycles.

After I have finished then we will talk about what happens going forward. Maybe nothing, maybe maintenance chemo. Its all pretty up in the air really and I’m not to sure what other options we have post chemo. .

I’m not 100% how I feel about the outcome of the scans. I guess I wish it was more one way or the other so decisions are easier to make, but other all I guess we are fighting the good fight and maybe not winning like we had hoped but we are definitely not letting it beat us down.

Despite chemo I am still managing to run and walk, ride my bike and I even went for a swim a couple of weeks ago which was really nice and kind on my body.

Despite the fatigue and nausea we seem to be trying to find that balance and make it work for myself and everyone around me.

I think following the scans I took Thursday and Friday and did nothing besides trying to process everything that had gone on following the scans Wednesday and the results Thursday.

I’m glad its done and it will be interesting to see what the next set of results show.

Picked up a in a big way on Saturday with my girls Lydia and Ester being in Christchurch for a track meet and going out to brunch with them and the lovely Julia. I really needed this and they are all such inspirational people in their own rights. Lydia has helped me so much since meeting her at One Step is All it Takes last year. She is my inspiration and motivation, being so kind and just smashing out the races and making me want to get out there and run.

Julia runs the One Step Is All it Takes group on a Monday morning 7am by Argham bridge at Hagley Park. It was lovely to get to meet a new face and a such an inspirational human.

One Step is a great initiative set up by Lydia O’Donnell about moving for our minds and mental health awareness. Moving to help depression and anxiety along with meeting new people and making new connections. These are run all over the country and overseas from Auckland to Sydney, check out their website: https://www.onestepisallittakes.com/ for more information. Its such a good idea and way to get out there and move the body whether its a walk or jog, its for everyone!

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Got home after that super motivated and went out for a run with my furry friend Fergus who I got to look after from Wednesday to Tuesday!

Also went out for a walk Sunday and ran 10kms Monday! 32.5km on the bike Tuesday and Wednesday despite chemo, round 7 on Monday.

The next big thing on the bucket list is The Relay for Life on Saturday from 10am until 10pm at Brookside Park out in Rollestern. Its a major fundraiser for the Cancer Society and I am so excited and proud to be apart of it.

I am team captain for Cancer Can Trigirl aka team 9. Today which the nausea and fatigue I made it to our creative hub! The letterbox looks awesome, our T-shirts are handmade and look amazing, our baton is well decorated and is a cycle seat, the candlelight ceremony bags look amazing and everything has come together so well! Thank you so much to Di, Raewyn and Josie for taking the day and making this all happen!

Also a massive thank you to John for making stands for my epic TT bike that will be there, all the articles and the letterbox. Our tent I don’t know if you can guess ,but is cycling themed!

I’ll have all my new colorful Toot cycling kit hanging up (new collaboration and exciting things to come!) as well as a Pure Nutrition flag for all the help they have given me over the last few months (this stuff really works!).

Feels like we’ve been talking about this event for a while and its finally come around so quickly! Hopefully the weather comes to the party too and is beautiful to match all the hard work everyone of the teams have put in.

Luckily we have a camper at the back of our site so I can go and have a nap when I need It is my bad week and its going to be a long day (thank you so much Tony for providing and helping with this!).

Next weekend sees another big bucket list item to tick off the 14km City to Surf in Christchurch. So looking forward to it and hoping I can run/yog the whole way (fingers and blisters crossed!).

city to surf blog

Then its a bit of a break until the St Claires half marathon up in Blenheim on the 11th of May (birthday week!!!!).

So if anyone has any challenges of ideas, or events you think I might be able to do between these events please let me know! I’m keen to try and give most things a whirl especially if I can raise awareness for young and old along the way.

Two big weeks ahead but I am so excited and an hoping the steroids and the adrenaline get me through!

Last donations for relay for life, however big or small it all helps an amazing cause:

https://relayforlifeselwyn2019.everydayhero.com/nz/cancer-can-trigirl

Until next time,

Keep smiling,

Britt xx

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